In his book, “The 5 Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to your Mate” Gary Chapman discusses how everyone has a primary and a secondary love language.
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What do you typically do when a friend, family member, or co-worker shares their problems with you? Have you ever found yourself searching for the ideal response? Perhaps you’ve tried to solve their problem for them or said something that you thought would be helpful but it didn’t have a positive effect. Michael Bungay Stonier author of “The Coaching Habit” recommends that after someone shares his/her issues with you, simply ask “So how can I help?”
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Larry Roper, a nationally recognized student affairs professional emphasized in a talk he gave the importance of “not stealing others’ pauses.”
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In his book, “Making Work Work,” Shola Richards states, “Everyone desires to be: Validated, Affirmed, Understood, Appreciated….but we are an appreciation-starved society! The #1 reason people quit their jobs: they don’t feel appreciated…Remember, everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying ‘make me feel important.’ Never forget this message when working with people.”
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In the book, “The Magic of Thinking Big,” David Schwartz states: “Big people monopolize the listening. Small people monopolize the talking.”
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Thinking about criticizing someone today? Don’t forget this sage wisdom by Jack Handy: “If you want to criticize someone, first walk a mile in their shoes, that way you will be a mile from them when you criticize them and you’ll have their shoes.”
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Are you trying to accomplish your goals all by yourself? In his book “The Happiness Advantage,” Shawn Achor recites a study done about ‘very happy people.’ The top 10% had only one significant measurable common denominator: Social Support. He also mentions something many folks never think about: did you know Thomas Edison had 30 assistants (he did not work alone).
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Nietzsche stated: “One should not seek to enjoy where one does not give joy.”
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Do you want your apologies to be more effective? Do you know the proper way to apologize to someone? In the book, “Recovery” by Russell Brand, he states: “A good apology is said like this ‘I apologize for what I did.’ A bad apology is said: 'I apologize for how I made you feel.’ The difference may appear slight but the impact could be significant.
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Often times we know how we feel in the presence of certain people. Some folks brighten our days just by being near them while others put off a dark cloud of dreariness that you can physically feel anytime you are around them. But what do others feel when in your presence? A message delivered by a monk at the Self Realization Fellowship said the following: “The goal is to have so much love and God flowing in and from you that others can feel it when they are in your presence.”
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